KAIKA interview: From virtual singer to songwriter, the story behind ‘Umarerumaekara Kimiwo Shitteru’

Just over a year after her unannounced on-stage cameo at virtual singer KAF’s 2024 concert at Yoyogi National Gymnasium, KAIKA has released her debut album ‘Umarerumaekara Kimiwo Shitteru’. Presented as a new creative expression connected to KAF’s long-running virtual persona, KAIKA steps out from behind the screen, writing and composing her own songs while inhabiting a form that straddles the line between the digital and the real.

Released March 26th via KAMITSUBAKI STUDIO, ‘Umarerumaekara Kimiwo Shitteru’ is a quietly ambitious first statement. Across fifteen tracks, KAIKA moves from whispered bedroom pop to chaotic electronica and cinematic ballads, offering up a diary-like account of growing up with one foot in two worlds.

We spoke to KAIKA about writing honestly, navigating dual personas, and the personal journey behind her first full-length release.

---

Your debut album under KAIKA, ‘Umarerumaekara Kimiwo Shitteru’, is your first full-length release where you’ve written every song yourself. How did it feel to take on full creative control for the first time?

It was a lot of fun.

Up until now in my career, more often than not, a whole team of people will come together to create something for KAF. But with this, with KAIKA’s first album, though it was a collective effort made possible through the help of many people — including the arrangers, engineers, team, and designers — I can look at it knowing that I wrote the lyrics, I composed the music for the album, all independently. I participated in the discussions regarding everything from the overall concept to the merchandise and the album art. As such, I have a different feeling towards it – a sense of responsibility in making sure it’s delivered to everyone, compared to what I’ve done before.

In interviews, I am often asked, “What feelings did you put into this song?”. However, I’d always say, “When I heard this song, I thought this, and interpreted it this way”. Since I often receive interviews by myself, I always worry that if I put it into my own words, and it doesn’t match with the vision of the creator behind the song…what if there is a misunderstanding, you know? Because of this, I always lead any of these topics with the disclaimer ​​”This is just how I feel!”. With KAIKA’s songs though, I feel that it is easier to talk about them because I can proudly say that the words and songs are all my feelings.

“The songs of KAIKA may not exist without the existence of KAF.”

You announced the album during a special YouTube livestream earlier this year. What was it like to finally share the news with your audience?

In the year since KAIKA was born, it feels like I’ve been slowly progressing with my activities, releasing songs and music videos and appearing at KAF’s live shows. We’ve been working on recording and creating this album for so long that it…felt like it was finally here!!

Right now, I think a lot of people know about KAIKA as an extension of KAF, so I’d be very happy if by releasing this album, more people get to know about KAF via KAIKA.

The album’s title, ‘Umarerumaekara Kimiwo Shitteru’ (‘I Knew You Before You Were Born’), is quite poetic. What was the inspiration behind this phrase, and how does it connect to the themes of the album?

This title is also a phrase that appears in the 15th track on the album, ‘Kaika’.

After working for about five years as the virtual singer KAF, I have now taken on a new form as KAIKA. My presence when it comes to talking and singing remains the same, but with my visible form changing, I feel like I have to say “nice to meet you” to everyone who has supported me up until now, and I think that’s a bit strange. All the emotions I’ve put into my songs and the feelings I’ve conveyed to all my fans have been rooted inside me for a long time. The songs of KAIKA may not exist without the existence of KAF. The words “I’ve known you since before you were born” reflect such a feeling.

“Nothing would make me happier than if KAIKA could create a place where people can find support… even if it’s just for the feelings of loneliness they have.”

Much of your music deals with memory, identity, and growth. Looking at the songs on your debut album, do you feel like they capture a specific moment in time for you, or are they more timeless reflections?

I started creating as KAF when I was 14 years old.

While I was forming my fundamental identity, I was also working hard to create KAF’s world alongside many people.

So I always had this feeling that I was “me, but not me”. I was often intrigued by the ambiguity of the boundary between myself and everyone else. On the other hand, it often left me pondering.

Especially before I appeared as KAIKA, I often had a complex about the fact that I couldn’t perfectly overlap with KAF, so I think I simply spent a long time thinking about this. I felt that this was also reflected in my songs.

Was there a particular song on the album that felt especially different to write? Either in terms of emotion or approach?

Maybe ‘My Dear…’.

It wasn’t that it was difficult to compose per se, but rather that it was the first song I wrote intending to have people listen to it, so I had a different enthusiasm from my other songs, like “I’m going to say everything I want to say!”. Up until then, I’d mostly written songs with the feeling that it was fine in the end as long as only I understood it, so it was the first time I’d written a song with a catchy chorus or greater development in mind, and I was surprised at how much the words and melody could change when the person I wanted to reach became clear.

“I feel like I can stand on stage with the attitude that this is just how it is, and I feel a sense of lightness in my heart.”

This album is a mix of songs you’ve carried with you for years and newer compositions. Looking back, is there a song that resonates with you differently now compared to when you first wrote it?

It’s ‘Transfer Student’. I wrote this song based on my memories of when I transferred schools, but with Oikawa Sosuke arranging it, Yamato Yuki making the music video, and it being the first song we performed as KAIKA, it has taken on much greater meaning to me given all these different contexts.

I now understand that the feeling of being left alone in an already established community, not knowing where anything is, and feeling like the whole space is unfamiliar, is what led to this being released into the world as KAIKA.

You introduced KAIKA at KAF’s concert at Yoyogi National Gymnasium last year, stepping closer to your real-life identity. Looking back, how do you feel about that decision now? How was it stepping onto stage under this new persona?

As I mentioned a bit earlier, when I discovered the difference between myself and KAF, it felt like something that shouldn’t exist, and it caused me a lot of pain.

I couldn’t believe that people would accept me as KAIKA. When I reached that point, I found that most people accepted who I was. I was tormented by the fact that I was desperately drawing lines to protect myself as KAF, but I think the one who was most concerned about those things was none other than myself.

Now that I’ve overcome the fear of sharing who I am, I’ve come to realize firsthand how important all of my fans truly are, and I’ve come to terms with my unchanging existence, in a good way. I feel like I can stand on stage with the attitude that this is just how it is, and I feel a sense of lightness in my heart.

“I always had this feeling that I was “me, but not me”.

You’ve spoken about how KAF and KAIKA are not opposites but different expressions of the same identity. How do you balance these two personas, and do you see them evolving in different ways over time?

I’ve been “with” KAF longer than that, so it feels really weird when people call me “KAIKA” on set!

I think if I continue doing both I’ll gradually figure out how to balance things, but right now I feel like I’m still in the exploratory stage with KAIKA. It’s not quite impulsive, but I want to create lots of things that can only be from now. KAF and KAIKA are different from the relationship between an anime character and a voice actor. It’s the same person, me, who is speaking, so there’s no separation between them. I want to continue doing both activities in parallel so that we can have a relationship where each influences the other.

When you first introduced KAIKA, some fans were curious about how it differed from KAF. How did you process those responses, and do you think their understanding has changed over time?

I’ve always understood that what makes people like KAF is different from person to person, so I was prepared to accept whatever opinions the people who support me had.

However, the songs ‘My Dear’ and ‘Remember’ on this album were performed as KAF even before the concept of KAIKA was created, so I was always unsure of which name to release them under. My concern was, “Wouldn’t it take away the precious memories of people who can no longer watch KAF because of KAIKA?”.

But once I introduced KAIKA, I realized that was hypocritical. The feelings I put into the songs at that time for my fans and for [Iori] Kanzaki-san [famed vocaloid producer and longtime collaborator of KAF] were written by me without any pretense, so if I have no choice but to live with the feelings of myself that will never disappear, I thought that it would be more sincere to express my intentions in my own way by recording these two songs under the title “I’ve Known You Since Before I Was Born.”.

I credit my songwriting growth to both KAF and KAIKA because I wanted to stop drawing a line between them, and decided to operate as two continuous entities. I’m really grateful that I’m now able to talk freely about KAIKA on my own online streams and on radio shows. It would’ve been unbelievable for me to do this a year ago!

RELATED: KAIKA releases third single ‘Everyday Song’ – A meditation on identity

Your music videos, particularly the trilogy directed by Yuki Yamato, bring a strong narrative element to your work. How involved are you in shaping the visual side of your music? Do you see music videos as an extension of your songwriting?

For the music videos that Yamato Yuki made for me, I left everything up to her!

I had a chance to speak to her directly about the music videos for the trilogy of songs recently, and she said, “The boys and girls featured in the music videos listen to KAIKA’s songs”, which made me really happy and left a lasting impression on me. I feel that because the music videos were made after Yamato had accepted the songs in that way, a strange sensation started stirring within me. While it certainly connected to my songs, it also gave me a new story that I would never have seen and feelings I would never have experienced on my own.

“I’m often drawn to uncertainty, and the fragility that comes with it”

Technology plays a big role in your live performances. If there were no limits, is there any technology—real or imagined—you’d want to use in a live show?

I’ve always thought it would be great if one day I could see a 3-D KAFU [a singing voice synthesiser developed by KAMITSUBAKI STUDIO using KAF’s voice] at a live concert, utilizing augmented reality technology, where it looks like she’s there from any angle! The image of KAF popping out of the LCD screen is so romantic to me! Then it would be possible for it to get closer to the audience, fly through the air, and land on the stage.

Visually, KAIKA’s live performances are also unique and beautiful. The technology used in both KAF and KAIKA’s live performances helps create a new world from scratch, so I’m always in awe of the god-like humans who are inputting this enormous amount of information. I always think it’s amazing that such a beautiful realm is created with such thorough calculations!

You’ve said that realising fans connected with your music made you feel almost “saved”. Do you think about how your songs might support listeners now that your debut album is out?

I’m often drawn to uncertainty, and the fragility that comes with it, so I want to continue to search for the source of that feeling. I think that’s something that everyone experiences! I’ve never written or sung songs with the intention of saving anyone, but in the end, I’m always comforted by the fact that there are people out there who see me in that way.

Nothing would make me happier than if KAIKA could create a place where people can find support and feel a little more secure, even if it’s just for the feelings of loneliness they have.

---